Ok it has be FOREVER since I wrote an entry. I promise I will get better at keeping regular updates. Part of the issue is that I am still without a computer (grrrrr!) so I'm only updating from my phone. The other issue was I kinda got mad at the stupid blogger ap and my phone cuz I wrote this nice long entry about my awesome trip to Connecticut and then it disappeared :( so yeah...I was a bit sad and mad about that.
Contracts are finally all done and have been delivered to all parties so yay for that important step being done. Now I'm just anxiously awaiting our transfer date. Part of me wants to do it like yesterday. And then the other part of me is scared about how close my due date is going to be to the Big Gig. And I know you guys are wondering "hmm...what's the Big Gig" well let me tell you
The Big Gig is the largest fundraising event and gig of the year for the group I help teach. And not only am I working with the kids and getting them ready usually the teachers also prepare a piece to play. And THEN on top of all that it's our 20th year. It's a big deal and I'm kinda freaking out/worried/sad that I may miss it. I am trying to not think about it too much but it's something that has really been on my mind.
Well it's getting late and I should at least attempt to get some sleep so I won't look like a zombie in the morning at the gym.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Happy Mother's Day
Wishing all the moms out there a happy Mother's Day! And all those waiting to be moms, I believe your time will come. There's a baby out there waiting to be adopted, there's a woman out there about to make the decision to become a surrogate, or there's a positive pregnancy test in your future. I can only imagine the pain that comes with this day for some women and the strength that they posses to get through not only today but just the struggles of their journey. I am so thankful to have my babies and just the joy they give me everyday. I hope that this time next year Erica (IM) can be experiencing her first Mother's Day with a baby of her own.
Tough Decisions
So I've got tons to write about when it comes to my recent trip to meet E^2. Which hopefully I'll have time to do soon. But the toughest part of the trip to me was discussing the one thing we didn't exactly see eye to eye on, which is selective reduction in the case of becoming pregnant with triplets.
I have this great fear of the unknown when it comes to triplets. I know that there are stories of women having normal healthy triplet pregnancies, but most stories I've seen or read have involved some heavy duty hospital bed rest. Which absolutely terrifies me. I can't imagine being in the hospital for months and not being able to be with my babies. Which just talking about that made me cry. Erica doesn't feel comfortable with going ahead with selective reduction in the case of triplets. But she did say if there is a great risk to my health that she would without a doubt. And I feel as if her and Etan both care about my well being and that of my children so I'm sure we can come to some kind of common ground as far as this topic is concerned. E^2 is talking with their lawyer to add what I'm calling the triplet clause in the contact. I feel like everything is such a great match and I'm hoping that this won't be a deal breaker.
I have this great fear of the unknown when it comes to triplets. I know that there are stories of women having normal healthy triplet pregnancies, but most stories I've seen or read have involved some heavy duty hospital bed rest. Which absolutely terrifies me. I can't imagine being in the hospital for months and not being able to be with my babies. Which just talking about that made me cry. Erica doesn't feel comfortable with going ahead with selective reduction in the case of triplets. But she did say if there is a great risk to my health that she would without a doubt. And I feel as if her and Etan both care about my well being and that of my children so I'm sure we can come to some kind of common ground as far as this topic is concerned. E^2 is talking with their lawyer to add what I'm calling the triplet clause in the contact. I feel like everything is such a great match and I'm hoping that this won't be a deal breaker.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Quick Update
So this is going to be a super short entry. But I figured it's 5:30ish in the morning and I can't sleep, why not do a blog update.
Went yesterday for my first surrogacy related appointment and it went great! They said all my test were great and that the only thing we need to wait on is the biopsy results. Since I just recently had my IUD removed they said I may have to do it again, but we'll see. Here in about 3 hours I go for my psych evaluation and I think that will be my last step before transfer.
This trip has been great and I will post more about it later, but just thought since I was up a quick update would be nice :-)
Went yesterday for my first surrogacy related appointment and it went great! They said all my test were great and that the only thing we need to wait on is the biopsy results. Since I just recently had my IUD removed they said I may have to do it again, but we'll see. Here in about 3 hours I go for my psych evaluation and I think that will be my last step before transfer.
This trip has been great and I will post more about it later, but just thought since I was up a quick update would be nice :-)
Monday, May 7, 2012
Can't Sleep!
It is 2:00 in the morning the night before our first trip to Connecticut. I just printed the boarding passes and flight schedule. I have been so excited and nervous all night. I've got so many thoughts running through my brain. Most of them are stupid vein thoughts and others are a little more valid.
Like I'm wondering if I am going to have enough time to flat iron all my hair tomorrow and pack everything. Oh yeah did I mention I've packed NOTHING! I meant to pack some before bed, but for some reason that just didn't happen. I kinda know what all I need and where it is. Hopefully it won't take me that long to get it all together and hopefully I can't fit everything in carry one so we don't have to pay to check a bag. And then I'm also kinda worried about how my little ones are going to handle the flight. I'm downloading new aps to hopefully keep the kids busy and I'm going to buy Zachary some extra batteries for his V Reader.
I really hope this trip goes well. I have no idea what to expect as far as testing a concerned. I'm hoping that it doesn't wear me out too bad because I would live to meet their family and relax for a little bit. It feels like I've known E^2 for years. Hopefully it all feels the same when we're face to face. But before I start to not make sense I'm gonna call it a night now. Sweet dreams, please excuse any typos I may have looked over.
Like I'm wondering if I am going to have enough time to flat iron all my hair tomorrow and pack everything. Oh yeah did I mention I've packed NOTHING! I meant to pack some before bed, but for some reason that just didn't happen. I kinda know what all I need and where it is. Hopefully it won't take me that long to get it all together and hopefully I can't fit everything in carry one so we don't have to pay to check a bag. And then I'm also kinda worried about how my little ones are going to handle the flight. I'm downloading new aps to hopefully keep the kids busy and I'm going to buy Zachary some extra batteries for his V Reader.
I really hope this trip goes well. I have no idea what to expect as far as testing a concerned. I'm hoping that it doesn't wear me out too bad because I would live to meet their family and relax for a little bit. It feels like I've known E^2 for years. Hopefully it all feels the same when we're face to face. But before I start to not make sense I'm gonna call it a night now. Sweet dreams, please excuse any typos I may have looked over.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Irrational Fear #1
I'm sure this is the first of many stupid irrational fears I will have. It's nothing huge, but I am way insecure about my weight. I touched on it a little in a previous post about having lost weight and gaining it back. And as I was hitting the shower after the gym today I for some reason got to thinking about how weird it's going to be to have another woman seeing my bare stomach. I've had two kids and my stomach is far from perfect, which on a day to day doesn't bother me too much. But thinking about Momma E seeing my stomach before the obviously pregnant period made me really self conscious. Which then brought me to the thought of worrying if she would be upset because I wouldn't show as soon as I would if I were to start the pregnancy at a lower weight.
I know in the grand scheme of things this means nothing and it's a stupid fear to have, but I got worried thinking about it today. Unfortunately there's really nothing I can do about it besides continuing to hit the gym and maintain a decent diet. I can't start a new crazy workout right now, so the best I can do is keep doing what I'm doing and hope for the best.
I know in the grand scheme of things this means nothing and it's a stupid fear to have, but I got worried thinking about it today. Unfortunately there's really nothing I can do about it besides continuing to hit the gym and maintain a decent diet. I can't start a new crazy workout right now, so the best I can do is keep doing what I'm doing and hope for the best.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Another Step Completed
Today I got my IUD out. Another big step for me. I started the BCP on CD3 and I have to say I think I can already tell a bit of a difference. I had a bit of a crying breakdown at the gym today because the scale hasn't really budged. Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy about it, but shouldn't bring me to tears. I had lost somewhere between 30-40 pounds and then hurt my shoulder and couldn't make it to the gym. So combine that with the bit I put back over the holidays and I'm pretty much back where I started. My shoulder is doing better and now I'm back in the gym, but the weight just isn't coming off as fast as it did last summer and it's frustrating. Anyways...sorry for my little weight rant, that was so not the point of this post. No IUD = yay! And another step closer to having a baby for E^2.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Contract Stuff
So today I got a call from the lawyer representing me to go over the surrogacy contract. It was weird to have like prices on medical procedures that could happen. I had already kind of done this when sending off contract points to my agency. But today's phone call was more so the lawyer telling me things that she thought may not have been fair or things that may have been worded differently. And I took some of her advice just because she sees several of these contracts so I thought that I would just go with the flow.
One thing that I was adamant about was not charging for a miscarriage. She brought up that having an amino could increase the chance of a miscarriage (knew this already) and that in such a case should she put a fee in. I said no because if that were to happen (crossing everything that nothin bad happens) then the last thing I want is for E^2 to have to worry about paying me an extra fee. Although I would physically and to a certain degree be mentally dealing with it, they are the ones that are in my head truly dealing with the loss of a child. I couldn't imagine having to deal with such loss and the last thing I want them to worry about if something like that were to happen would be busting out the checkbook. Hopefully the lawyer will have the redraft of the contract finished ASAP and we can sign everything next Wednesday while we are in Connecticut.
One thing that I was adamant about was not charging for a miscarriage. She brought up that having an amino could increase the chance of a miscarriage (knew this already) and that in such a case should she put a fee in. I said no because if that were to happen (crossing everything that nothin bad happens) then the last thing I want is for E^2 to have to worry about paying me an extra fee. Although I would physically and to a certain degree be mentally dealing with it, they are the ones that are in my head truly dealing with the loss of a child. I couldn't imagine having to deal with such loss and the last thing I want them to worry about if something like that were to happen would be busting out the checkbook. Hopefully the lawyer will have the redraft of the contract finished ASAP and we can sign everything next Wednesday while we are in Connecticut.
My journey to surrogacy
The question most people ask first is "what made you decide to be a surrogate?". This post is pretty much an extended answer to that question.
I vaguely remember about five or so years ago seeing a special on surrogacy and remember thinking how awesome that was. Fast forward to my first pregnancy with my son. It was super easy and I actually enjoyed being pregnant. I remember thinking back to the special/article and thinking that maybe I should look into it a little more since my pregnancy was going so well. Then came probably the toughest experience of my life. And honestly this going off of what was told to me, because sadly I don't remember it all that well. Long story short I had a really rough delivery of my son and lost a lot of blood. He was a perfectly healthy baby boy, mommy just had some issues. So after that I kinda put thoughts of surrogacy on the shelf.
A couple of years after the birth of my son I got pregnant with my daughter Zoe. My birth experience with her was worlds a part from the one I had before. I was so thrilled to learn that my body could handle birth as well as it did. After a couple of months surrogacy started weighing heavily on my heart again so I started researching again. One of the things I learned while researching was that my BMI was a little on the high side so I decided that once I dropped the weight I would apply with an agency.
I had been matched with another couple before being matched with E^2 (if they decide they don't mind their names being mentioned I will say them later) and things just didn't feel right. So to anybody out there thinking about becoming a surrogate please trust your gut feeling. Because I almost went trough with my former match and I am SOOOO happy I didn't. I love E^2 and I haven't even met them face to face yet. Whenever I talk to E(Intended Mom) on the phone I feel almost like we've been friends for years. I am beyond exited to go on this journey with E^2, I seriously couldn't have imagined a better couple.
I vaguely remember about five or so years ago seeing a special on surrogacy and remember thinking how awesome that was. Fast forward to my first pregnancy with my son. It was super easy and I actually enjoyed being pregnant. I remember thinking back to the special/article and thinking that maybe I should look into it a little more since my pregnancy was going so well. Then came probably the toughest experience of my life. And honestly this going off of what was told to me, because sadly I don't remember it all that well. Long story short I had a really rough delivery of my son and lost a lot of blood. He was a perfectly healthy baby boy, mommy just had some issues. So after that I kinda put thoughts of surrogacy on the shelf.
A couple of years after the birth of my son I got pregnant with my daughter Zoe. My birth experience with her was worlds a part from the one I had before. I was so thrilled to learn that my body could handle birth as well as it did. After a couple of months surrogacy started weighing heavily on my heart again so I started researching again. One of the things I learned while researching was that my BMI was a little on the high side so I decided that once I dropped the weight I would apply with an agency.
I had been matched with another couple before being matched with E^2 (if they decide they don't mind their names being mentioned I will say them later) and things just didn't feel right. So to anybody out there thinking about becoming a surrogate please trust your gut feeling. Because I almost went trough with my former match and I am SOOOO happy I didn't. I love E^2 and I haven't even met them face to face yet. Whenever I talk to E(Intended Mom) on the phone I feel almost like we've been friends for years. I am beyond exited to go on this journey with E^2, I seriously couldn't have imagined a better couple.
About Me
So I figure my first post should tell you a little bit about me. I always think its weird typing/talking about myself so this may get long and rambley (totally a word lol). And if it does it won't hurt my feelings if you don't really read everything. Here we go...
My name is Brittany and I'm 26 years old born and raised in Louisville, KY. I have two beautiful children, Zachary who's 4 and Zoe who will be 2 at the end of June. I have been lucky enough to have a job that allows me to be home more often than not. I am an assistant director for a non-profit group called The Louisville Leopard Percussionists. I will probably have a whole other post about them just in case anybody is curious. When I'm not working or spending time with the kiddos I can usually be found doing something crafty. I like to sew, crochet, bake, decorate cakes/cupcakes, and I dabble a bit in graphic design. Oh and I actually enjoy being in the gym. You can usually find me there Monday - Friday mornings after taking my son to school. Which is actually where I am now, on a stationary bike trying to distract myself from the 30 minutes I will be spending here.
I think that I am a fairly easy going person. I have my moments when I freak out cuz things aren't going how I think they should, but I'm pretty sure everyone does. I'm pretty blunt and at times I've been told I over share. I am hoping to be completely honest and uncensored with this blog. Which means there is bound to be some cussing. Hopefully we're all adults here and nobody will be offended. I have also been known to be quite the smart ass, so beware not all things I type are to be taken too literal. I'm sure I've probably left something off, but all of the above should give you a pretty good idea of who I am.
My name is Brittany and I'm 26 years old born and raised in Louisville, KY. I have two beautiful children, Zachary who's 4 and Zoe who will be 2 at the end of June. I have been lucky enough to have a job that allows me to be home more often than not. I am an assistant director for a non-profit group called The Louisville Leopard Percussionists. I will probably have a whole other post about them just in case anybody is curious. When I'm not working or spending time with the kiddos I can usually be found doing something crafty. I like to sew, crochet, bake, decorate cakes/cupcakes, and I dabble a bit in graphic design. Oh and I actually enjoy being in the gym. You can usually find me there Monday - Friday mornings after taking my son to school. Which is actually where I am now, on a stationary bike trying to distract myself from the 30 minutes I will be spending here.
I think that I am a fairly easy going person. I have my moments when I freak out cuz things aren't going how I think they should, but I'm pretty sure everyone does. I'm pretty blunt and at times I've been told I over share. I am hoping to be completely honest and uncensored with this blog. Which means there is bound to be some cussing. Hopefully we're all adults here and nobody will be offended. I have also been known to be quite the smart ass, so beware not all things I type are to be taken too literal. I'm sure I've probably left something off, but all of the above should give you a pretty good idea of who I am.
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